


Revelation in the Light of Day.

by Azukeri



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Charlie Bradybury - Freeform, M/M, Post- Gates of Hell are shut., Sam Winchester - Freeform, kevin tran - Freeform, mentions of - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 06:50:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azukeri/pseuds/Azukeri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somewhere in the depths of their home voices murmur and Castiel sighs as he leans forward to press a kiss to Dean's forehead. Soft. Comforting. As if the angel knows how much the loneliness eats at him in moments of absence. But Charlie and Sam have woken and Cas is already slipping away. Falling away. Over and over and over and over again. Today as the sun rises higher in the sky, nothing will change. Nothing should change. Dean knows. He cannot say the words anymore than he could the day before. But the gates of Hell are shut. Sam is alive and well, happy. Kevin is safe and getting there. Charlie is here for some reason he cannot understand and Cas...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Revelation in the Light of Day.

He presses the words into his angel's skin, words of worship, adoration, glorification, of absolution and of love. Dean kisses all that he no longer has the power to say into the curve of his palm, the underside of his wrist, each and every knuckle, every and every fingertip. Bit by bit, pressing adoration there. Pressing love. Castiel hums with it softly, hand reaching up to swoop back his hair and Dean smiles softly. Softly in the morning light as the sunlight streams into this little corner of Heaven they've carved for themselves out of the life that once was. 

Still, he cannot speak the words. They weigh heavy on his tongue and knot in his throat, catching and refusing to give way. To be spoken out loud in a way that cannot be taken back. The hand that he does not have in his grasp pushing into his hair once more, fingers dragging over in his scalp in that way that makes his body rumble with something hot and warm and perfect in his chest. Dean presses his hands against the angel's chest, feeling the steady thrum of the heartbeat under a breast bone and wondering. Wondering. Wondering. Neither of them will say it. They'll lay here too long and soon their little Heaven will be stripped away he's sure. Sam will be here soon, stumbling in to wake Dean and bitchface because Dean's slept in yet again. 

But now, now there's them. Sharing space. Sharing breaths. Sharing their warmth. Sharing. Sharing. Until Castiel must slip away and Dean is left alone in a cold room with only a phantom of warmth growing slowly cold. Still, he cannot say the words. 

Somewhere in the depths of their home voices murmur and Castiel sighs as he leans forward to press a kiss to Dean's forehead. Soft. Comforting. As if the angel knows how much the loneliness eats at him in moments of absence. But Charlie and Sam have woken and Cas is already slipping away. Falling away. Over and over and over and over again. Today as the sun rises higher in the sky, nothing will change. Nothing should change. Dean knows. He cannot say the words anymore than he could the day before. But the gates of Hell are shut. Sam is alive and well, happy. Kevin is safe and getting there. Charlie is here for some reason he cannot understand and Cas...

Cas is slipping away. How can he dare to say stay? _I need you_ is no longer enough even if they both understand what the words really mean and maybe, maybe there is nothing. Nothing he can do or say but watch Castiel slip away once more, pulling on a shirt with a shake of his body and mussing up his hair even more in a way that makes Dean feel warm and smile till it hurts. But. But. But.

His hand is wrapped round the angel's wrist this sunny morning and nothing can change. Nothing should.

"Dean?" Castiel ask breathlessly and soft in a way that makes him ache, makes him realizes that he is not the only one helpless in the face of such powerful words that is like handing yourself to another person and trusting them not to tear you apart. When in fact they have many times before. 

_So many times before._

_"Dean."_ Cas insisted and tugs his wrist from Dean's hold as he lets go. And Dean wonders how much longer this could go on. This pretend. His angel turns away, shoulders looking a little more defeated then the moment before and he means to say it. He does. But the words are knots and he's drowing in it all. Drowing. Drowing. Drowing. Drowing.

Drowing in all that he is and all that _loves_ so brightly and greatly in a way he never thought that he could ever deserve. Dean worries still that he'll never deserve but in a moment of clarity as Cas slips into these strange red, white, and blue Captain American pajama pants, Dean is distraught. Distraught and suddenly understands that asking of is not the same as asking  _for._  

He means to say  _stay._ It comes out, "I love you." The silence is broken. A year of it. More. Dean's voice had been gone and useless in his throat after slaughtering Naomi in righteous anger for the damage done to the angel that's no longer that but could be nothing more. To the fallen angel but not man that pauses at the foot of Dean's bed, back to him, tense and frozen. As though he does not believe he's really heard these words. As if it were a dream. Dean isn't a 100% sure it's fucking not, but suddenly he's more awake and his heart is pounding like it wants to jump out of his freaking chest and and and and "I love you." Dean repeats again, breathlessly and hoarse. "I love you, Cas." Sitting up slowly, he's reaching, reaching and he's afraid for a moment that Cas won't reach back until a hand slides warmly into his own. "Cas." He breathes and meets those blue eyes with a smile. "Cas." 

His angel reachs out, squeezing his hands as he lets go, and grasps his face. Holding gently as his thumds traces under his eyes. Bright and green and speaking volumes more than his hands and lips and even now his words ever could. "Dean." Cas murmurs like a man in the desert who has found water in the most unlikely of places and Dean can't help but smile in that way that hurts his face from holding it too long. "Dean." He speaks against his lips, pressing softly against his own for a moment before smiling back with his mouth and eyes and glowing with joy in a way that Dean supposes his Grace onced did. Once. Once. Once. He regrets and then Cas whispers into his mouth. Into his being. "I know." And Dean honest to God hates fucking Star Wars for a moment, because he longs to hear the words. Actually hear them when Cas finally, finally says. "I love you Dean Winchester." 

"Stay." He orders and it's enough. Dean drags him back down, body fitting against his as they curled into each other. Perfectly matching pieces of some great puzzel. The angel with too much heart and the righteous man with too much hatred. For himself. For God. For a world that damned his family. Hatred that blends away into love when he realizes all that this world has given him is making pancakes while fighting and lying in his arms now. "Stay." Dean speaks against Cas' neck for the first time since this started and he means  _I need you. I want you. Please._ "I love you."

"I know." Is all he needs to understand that he'll never suffer the phantom warmth of a cooling bed. That he'll have to learn to share and clean his floors of dirty clothes no matter how tired he is. And he knows. Knows. Knows. He does. That Cas means forever in a way that only he could promise. I know.  Yeah, that sounds awesome. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what this was, but I hope it was enjoyed.


End file.
